Take joy

Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 ESV

I’ll read verses like that and feel like a loser because I can’t make myself “take joy” in the crappiest of circumstances – those that pale in comparison to Habakkuk’s. It ironically yields a low-grade bitterness. I guess I either wasn't born with it, or subconsciously refuse to do it for some dumb reason. 

This is probably why a little, inconsequential moment caught me off guard at church a few Sundays ago. My daughter and son were sitting on either side of me. The pastor started the opening prayer, and a few seconds in, I could feel both their heads come to rest on my shoulders, almost at the same exact time. 

None of the surrounding circumstances changed, and I didn’t at all choose to be caught up in that moment. It was unexpected to feel a rush of gratitude like that when I didn’t even ask for it. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “joy,” but I think there’s a reason those verses came to mind. I don’t think gratitude and joy are that dissimilar. 

Maybe Habakkuk didn’t choose to take joy so much as he received it — “taking” it only insofar as someone can accept a gift. Even if I am reading it into the text, I like thinking of it that way. One less burden to carry.