Persistence

Stories like the persistent friend in Luke 11 are easy to admire when things are going well. A man urgently goes to his friend in the middle of the night to ask for some bread. After some determination, all’s well: 

I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. - Luke 11:8

It’s a deceptively simple formula when you read it too quickly. If you don’t get what you ask for the first time, knock again. Repeat until you get it. 

I think I’ve been reading it as if it’s my relentless endurance that’ll get God to answer. Like I’ll eventually prove I’m worthy of whatever it is I want, if only I keep at it.

Now I’m learning the hard way how stupid that is. Each knock is agonizing, and it doesn’t seem like He just hasn’t noticed. It feels like I’m being ignored. Maybe worse. That man doesn’t just get no answer:

And from inside he answers and says, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ - Luke 11:7

He’s told to buzz off. It makes sense why other translations talk about the man’s “shamelessness” instead of “persistence.” The whole scene is messier than it is awe-inspiring. 

If the friend’s response doesn’t sound like the God we pray to, look at Matthew 15. Rejection after rejection before the woman gets what she wanted.

And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed.” But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, “Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us.” But He answered and said, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” And He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” - Matthew 15:22-26

First, she’s ignored. Then, the disciples whine to have her sent away. Next, Jesus seemingly toys with her, all while she’s on the ground, pleading for help, shamelessly begging for mercy. 

I don’t think I have the strength to keep going in the face of repeated denial from my Savior. But I also have nowhere else to go. I want to say maybe that’s the point; that I’m being tested or drawn close before I get the answer I want, but that’s really difficult to find comfort in when you’re on the ground begging.