Hope & Weakness

I think I’ve had a messed up, self-sufficient view of “hope” for a long time, and I didn’t start to realize it until I read Romans 8:24 while life was falling apart.

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? - Romans 8:24

A key piece of hope is that there’s no technical guarantee that an outcome will occur. That should be obvious. It’s nonsense to say you hope it’ll rain today while you’re standing in a downpour. There’s got to be something unforeseeable about it all.

Still, having at least some confidence or control of that outcome makes it easy to say things like "I hope I get that promotion," or "I hope the weather holds up this weekend.” I wouldn’t say things like this unless I knew the chances were decent or that I had some power to improve them. 

It’s a lot harder to utter those words when everything's behind a curtain and all the levers are out of reach. In those moments, there is nothing you can do and it’s brutal to have to come to terms with that. You want something so badly and feel so helpless about it. Weak and blind.

I’m grappling with/yearning for the fact that there may be purpose in that. It seems to be pattern throughout scripture, anyway. See what Paul says to the church in Corinth:

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. - 2 Corinthians 1:8-10

Or what God says to Gideon as He’s about to reduce tens of thousands of soldiers down to just 300 before attacking the Midianites:

The Lord said to Gideon, “The people who are with you are too many for Me to give Midian into their hands, for Israel would become boastful, saying, ‘My own power has delivered me.’ - Judges‬ ‭7‬:‭2‬ ‭

It's terrifying to think about – to imagine just how far God might strip me down to prove His glory. There is no way to control the story arc in the meantime. No way to lean on ”the chances” as a source of comfort. But at least there’s hope He’s working, I guess.

I’m reluctantly choosing to believe that’s the case, and that there’s something for me in what Paul says about his own walk:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.‭ - 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬-‭10‬

Lord, let that be true.