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Control

It is pathetic how often I overestimate the control I have over my circumstances, and how protective I am of the little I do have. A couple passages have been stirring this up.

First, from Exodus. The Israelites have fled into the wilderness after escaping Egypt. They set up camp by the sea. Pharaoh seizes an opportunity to recapture them, for “the wilderness has shut them in” (Exodus 14:3). Backed into a corner, the people plead to God in fear. Moses responds:

Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.

Exodus‬ ‭14‬:‭13‬-‭14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

It’s hard to put myself in a pair of those sandals. My oppressors are barreling toward me, I’m in the middle of nowhere with my back against the sea, and I’m told the only thing to do is “be silent.” I’d like to tell Moses to pound sand, but we all know what happens next.

Moses parts the Red Sea

Another from Isaiah. The southern kingdom of Judah is scrambling to protect themselves from the formidable Assyrians. They decide to seek help from the Egyptians. God ain’t having it.

For a long time, these people have refused to seek God for help (Isaiah 30:2), ignored the instruction He’s provided (v9), and they’ve been telling the prophets to shut up unless it’s something they want to hear:

They say to the seers, “Do not see,”
and to the prophets,
“Do not prophesy the truth to us.
Tell us flattering things.
Prophesy illusions.

- Isaiah 30:10 CSB

God warns that this defiance will only lead to collapse, but reminds them there’s a path to deliverance, knowing full well it wouldn’t penetrate their hard heads:

For the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said:
You will be delivered by returning and resting;
your strength will lie in quiet confidence.

But you are not willing.”

You say, “No!
We will escape on horses”—
therefore you will escape!—
and, “We will ride on fast horses”—
but those who pursue you will be faster.

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭15-16 CSB

I‘m fairly sure that bold arrogance was a cover for the panic happening on the inside. I know that trick. Anxiety thrives when overconfidence meets the nagging realization that I might not have this in the bag. I can’t blame God for punishing obstinance like that. I’m surprised He still expressed so much patience even then:

Therefore the Lord is waiting to show you mercy,
and is rising up to show you compassion,
for the Lord is a just God.
All who wait patiently for him are happy.

- Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭18‬ ‭CSB

Both of these stories mess with advice I’ve been given a lot lately: “focus on what you can control.” Maybe that little bit of control is still too much and needs to be surrendered. I don't know if I can genuinely rest in "quiet confidence" while still clutching some of my own ambition. It’d probably prove I wouldn’t believe God if He told me I just needed to be silent and witness Him work.

John Calvin says this about those verses from Isaiah in his commentary:

Thus, by despising God, they gave a preference to a groundless appearance of safety, which they had allowed themselves to imagine. We ought, therefore, to turn away our minds from looking at present appearances and outward assistance, that they may be wholly fixed on God; for it is only when we are destitute of outward aid that we rely fully on him.

I agree with that, but even without “outward aid,” you’re still left with your own strength, and even that can muddle our sense of dependence on Him.

I don’t want to drip-feed a vice that ought to be starved and killed. Fortunately, if that’s the lesson He’s wants to teach me, He’ll make it happen. Ain't that a scary thought.