Being Still

I have not been reading Psalm 46:10 correctly for a long time (probably because I’ve always read it in isolation).

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

I’ve always taken “stillness” to strictly be a synonym for “peace.” God’s just telling us to find inner peace as we reflect on His being, like some sort of weird, Christian nirvana.

The verse hits different when reading the rest of the chapter. It's total chaos. Look at some of this language:

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.

The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come, behold the works of the LORD,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God."
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”

- Psalm‬ ‭46‬:‭1-10 ‭ESV‬

I get that God is supposedly wreaking havoc on my behalf, and I understand I'm protected from it. But there’s no chance I’d be sitting there in zen mode while witnessing the earth melt and mountains being hurled into the sea.

It makes sense why other translations use "cease striving" or "stop fighting" instead of "be still." More than anything, I’m being told to surrender control, to release, to stop manhandling the circumstances and experience God at work.

It makes sense, but it doesn't sound easier. Not when my hands have so much callus from grasping for control my whole life. But maybe I can white-knuckle “stillness” until it becomes more natural, or sew my lips shut until I learn to trust a little more. I’m sure stuff like that takes a few reps, but hopefully it becomes easier as I build up memory of His faithfulness. That's what I'm banking on, anyway.

Even if that works, I still don't see myself ever being totally void of fear. Maybe that’s OK, though, as long as it’s not the unknowable outcome of my story that I’m afraid of. God is owed some fear. Anyone running around incinerating chariots is worthy of that.